I have felt the world pulling me down lately. I have felt doubts creeping in, creeping all around me. I feel the temptations of Satan. I feel him screaming at us not to believe. I mostly feel like this because almost everyday I am surrounded by people who do not believe in God. I teach at a boarding school for troubled teens, and sometimes it just really weighs you down. They make fun of each other, they make fun of all religions, but especially mormons, because we are in Utah. They question you as a person, and what you believe. They even make fun of me. But it's a school. It's a place where I cannot share with them my feelings about church, or religion. Sometimes they make me question myself and my religion as to how I know these things are true. To them and to everyone I want to say I KNOW they are true. I know that God loves us. He sent us here to learn and to grow, physically and spiritually! He sent his only begotten son, Jesus Christ to the earth to atone for our sins, and we CAN repent, and be forgiven, and ONE day be perfect. I know that through his gospel we can feel the most happiness and peace in this life, and that's how I know. Because I have felt it. I have lived it. I have lived FOR it.
I miss sharing my testimony everyday with people. I miss feeling the spirit so strongly and seeing the spiritual changes in people. I had almost forgotten that I knew this was the truth but I HAVE felt it, and I STILL feel it. Everytime I say my prayers. Everytime I really talk to my father in Heaven. Everytime I read my scriptures. I CAN feel his love. I have seen SO MANY PEOPLE CHANGE. I know he loves all of his children. I know that every single one of my students is a child of God, and that they are influenced by the world around them because they DON'T know any better, and they HAVEN'T felt the spirit like I have. I wish so much that they could have all of my knowledge, and feel everything I have felt in this life. But thats one of the great tests of this life. Every individual living life for themself. Choosing. Agency. Doing what THEY want to. I hope that each and every single one of them have the chance to learn the gospel at some point in their lives. To speak with missionaries, and to feel the love that Heavenly Father and Christ have for them.
Here is a beautiful video I watched today, that reminded me of my students. I hope there are more members like that around that will influence their lives as well.
Watch this video from gangs to God to see how one boy's life changed.
